Sunday, January 6, 2013

This non-breeder

I'm a 33 year old woman who has been in a stable relationship with the love of her life for close to seven years. What's missing from that sentence? Kids. My boyfriend and I have talked it over numerous times and we both agree that it is just not our cup of tea.


There are many reasons why. But for me, I think that it's because I'm too selfish. I can't imaging giving up any part the life I worked so hard for, in order to raise a child. I am super happy in my life, and isn't that what it's all about? I feel like I have already won, why complicate things.

My handsome nephew Landon
I have heard many people tell me that I wont know true love until the moment a child is born to me, and that may be true, but love is just the beginning, cue the hard work...for the rest of your life!  I believe that raising a child is a very complex and serious matter. Hell, I don't  want to be the one responsible for having any sort of negative impact a human being's life, let alone my own flesh and blood. (and you know most people blame the parents for one shortcoming or another) And from what I remember as being a child and what I see as my sister raises her's, it's the hardest job in the world. From diapers and tantrums to teenage rebellion and beyond. Like they say, kids are not born with an owner's manual so you are constantly having to learn to be a parent through all of the different moments of their life. I'm not sure I will ever be up to the task.

And don't get me started on the paranoia I would have of my child getting hurt or sick in any way. I would definitely be one of those moms with their kid on a leash.

Yeah, I know it looks ridiculous. (P.S. the original caption
on this Tumblr pic was "only white people put their
children on leashes") Kind of made me snicker. 
I'm very content being the fun Aunt. I love playing made-up games with my nephew and running around outside. There is something totally freeing about having fun with a child. You can be as silly and goofy as you want, because it only makes it more enjoyable. I love teaching him things and asking him questions. Children are so smart and amusing, and some of the things they do and say are priceless! But then I get to go home, to my sanctuary with no toys scattered about and most importantly, peace and quiet.

My other nephew Miles! (or SMiles, as we call him)
In the end, do I feel like I am missing out on incalculable life experiences? Sure, but most of you parents out there are missing out on the life of absolute freedom that I cherish. My life is just filled with a different kind of precious life experiences. 

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  1. Nothing wrong with choosing to remain childless! I had ONE 33 years ago (mainly due to health issues) and still got all kinds of grief for "depriving" my son by "forcing" him to be an only child. He grew up JUST FINE... LOL

    Kudos to you!

  2. Oh boy, you had to know that I would have something to say here! Let me start out saying that I totally respect your decision to remain childless. Parenthood should be a personal decision, and not to be assumed that because one is in a relationship, that having a baby is the next phase, although for many it is, me included. I have a lot more to say, but in conclusion, if I had made that decision, the world would never know how much all of my children contributed to this universe, all in there own individual way. From a Son who crawled out of a dark place into the light, whose music brings joy and happiness to others, and who soon will give of himself to teach our next generation, a daughter whose artistic ability, wit and charm is immeasurable, and another daughter who gives of herself everyday to assist the elderly in maintaining a quality of life, and the child who has made me a grandmother. I am honored to be your parent, and yes, you are correct to state that children do not come into this world with a "how to" manual, but when you do what you do from your heart, it feels right, and it is, and I wouldn't want it any other way! I LOVE YOU! MOM

  3. I love the blog! And mom your post brought tears to my eyes :) erin you are the best aunt and I'm glad my sons have an aunt like you! Who needs kids when u can just come to my house and leave and get the best of both worlds like u said :) I love you! But a neice or nephew wouldn't and landon and miles would love a little just kidding...I'm on your side no matter what! Xoxoxo

  4. This post was so honest, you know yourself so well.
    I'm posting this link tastefully, it is a great read.